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"Poetry and Song"
In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls. (1 Peter 1:6-9)
True Gold
Gold is precious.
True gold shines.
But gold won’t last
So God refines
My life with trial—
With short-term grief.
His refinement shows
My true belief.
And genuine faith,
More precious than gold,
Leads to His praise—
To His glory told.
I love Him
Though I do not see.
I’m filled with joy—
My God saves me!
Make Me Thy Fuel
by Amy Carmichael
From prayer that asks that I may be
Sheltered from winds that beat on Thee
From fearing when I should aspire
From faltering when I should climb higher
From silken self, O Captain, free
Thy soldier who would follow Thee.From subtle love of softening things
From easy choices, weakenings
(Not thus are spirits fortified
Not this way went the Crucified)
From all that dims Thy Calvary
O Lamb of God, deliver me.Give me the love that leads the way
The faith that nothing can dismay
The hope no disappointments tire
The passion that will burn like fire
Let me not sink to be a clod:
Make me Thy fuel, Flame of God.
I’ve been listening to this song for months now, and I’ve yet to make it through without tears. Andrew Peterson can say in a few stanzas what I can’t quite express yet in several pages, and this song is just where Andy and I are after 14 1/2 years of marriage. I especially love the last verse:
We bear the light of the Son of man
So there’s nothing left to fear
So I’ll walk with you in the shadowlands
Till the shadows disappear
‘Cause He promised not to leave us
And His promises are true
So in the face of all this chaos, baby,
I can dance with you
“Wouldn’t it be dangerous to dance in a minefield?” Nathan asked a few days ago, as we listened to this song in the car. Andy and I smiled at each other. That’s the whole point, isn’t it?
“Yes,” Andy answered. “If you were dancing in a minefield, you’d have to be very careful. And that’s what this song means. Marriage is like a beautiful dance, but it’s also hard work.”
But that’s what the promise is for.
October 21, 1996—the day that Andy proposed. We’d dated exactly two years, and he surprised me with an early-morning flight to Houston. He proposed at a rose garden there, and we spent the rest of the day exploring the city, going to the top of a skyscraper, and even touring a Holocaust museum. (Hardly a romantic stop, I know, but we are always up for a museum, I’m afraid.) We flew home that evening just in time for our Bible-college curfew. We were engaged!
I spent the next eight months preparing for our wedding and practicing writing Amy Storms instead of Amy Dunson. I loved being in love. But what if…what if, one evening, Andy had stopped by my dorm, only to find I wasn’t there…that I was out with another boy? What if, instead of flashing my diamond ring around to my friends, I’d kept it in the box, and not mentioned it to anyone? What if I’d neglected to pick out a cake and flowers, and just skipped the wedding altogether? Would Andy have still loved me? I hope so. But would we have truly been engaged? Hardly.
A fiancé would be crazy to not even acknowledge her love. But that’s exactly what Gomer did to Hosea—and even more shockingly, what Israel did to God.
“I will betroth you to me forever,” God said. “I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion. I will betroth you in faithfulness, and you will acknowledge the Lord.” (Hosea 2:20) Acknowledge, in Hebrew, is “yada”—to know. But sadly, Israel had a “spirit of prostitution in their heart.” They did not yada the Lord. (Hosea 5:4) Israel was promised to One Love—betrothed to the Most High God—but she chased after other gods instead. (Hosea 13:1-4)
Ah, Israel, how could you? I read Hosea and shake my head in disappointment at their wayward hearts. And yet, that same “spirit of prostitution”—that same idolatry—is in me. I turn my back on my Betrothed when I ignore His call to love and blatantly disobey His instruction to forgive. My wayward heart chases after other gods: the god of self-promotion, the god of comfort, and the gods of safety and control. I fail to acknowledge—to yada—my Love.
One of my most favorite hymns is “Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing”. This line is my prayer:
Prone to wander
Lord, I feel it!
Prone to leave the God I love
Here’s my heart, oh!
Take and seal it!
Seal it for Thy courts above
God, there’s a wayward spirit of prostitution in my heart, and it makes me prone to wander from You. But, oh! Will You bind my heart to You, Lord? Seal it for You alone. I want to yada You in everything. To be still and know that You are God. (Psalm 46:10) To acknowledge You in all my ways. (Proverbs 3:5-6) Be my One Love, God. Bethroth me to You forever. Amen.
Previous posts on Hosea:
This week marks the 14th anniversary of Rich Mullins’ death. Rich could say perfectly in three stanzas what the rest of us can’t quite say yet in three pages. I love these words from “Nothing is Beyond You” on The Jesus Record:
Nothing is beyond You
You stand beyond the reach
Of our vain imaginations
Our misguided piety
The heavens stretch to hold You
And deep cries out to deep
Singing that nothing is beyond You
Nothing is beyond YouTime cannot contain You
You fill eternity
Sin can never stain You
Death has lost its sting
And I cannot explain the way You came to love me
Except to say that nothing is beyond You
Nothing is beyond You
Lord, I’m afraid I’m guilty of much misguided piety, and a whole truckload of vain imaginations. But thank You for the example of a man who wrote, sang, lived, and breathed You. Most of all, thank You for loving me. Truly, nothing is beyond You. Amen.
- Read more about Rich Mullins’ exemplary life in James Bryan Smith’s outstanding book, An Arrow Pointing to Heaven.
- Read a previous post on Rich Mullins.
It may not be on the mountain’s height,
Or over the stormy sea;
It may not be at the battle’s front
My Lord will have need of me;
But if by a still, small voice He calls
To paths I do not know,
I’ll answer, dear Lord, with my hand in Thine,
I’ll go where you want me to go.
Perhaps today there are loving words
Which Jesus would have me speak;
There may be now, in the paths of sin,
Some wand’rer whom I should seek.
O Savior, if Thou wilt be my Guide,
Tho’ dark and rugged the way,
My voice shall echo the message sweet,
I’ll say what you want me to say.
There’s surely somewhere a lowly place
In earth’s harvest-fields so wide,
Where I may labor thro’ life’s short day
For Jesus, the Crucified.
So, trusting my all unto Thy care,
I know Thou lovest me!
I’ll do Thy will with a heart sincere,
I’ll be what you want me to be.
I’ll go where you want me to go, dear Lord,
O’er mountain, or plain, or sea;
I’ll say what you want me to say, dear Lord,
I’ll be what you want me to be.
-Mary Brown
Gloria Gaither wrote these words in response to Francis Schaeffer’s book, How Should We Then Live? Beautiful.
I then shall live as one who’s been forgiven
I’ll walk with joy to know my debts are paid
I know my name is clear before my Father
I am His child, and I am not afraid
So greatly pardoned, I’ll forgive my brother
The law of love I gladly will obey
I then shall live as one who’s learned compassion
I’ve been so loved that I’ll risk loving, too
I know how fear builds walls instead of bridges
I’ll dare to see another’s point of view
And when relationships demand commitment
Then I’ll be there to care and follow through
Your kingdom come around and through and in me
Your power and glory, let them shine through me
Your hallowed Name, O may I bear with honor
And may Your living kingdom come in me
The Bread of Life, O may I share with honor
And may You feed a hungry world through me
Amen
You say grace before meals
All right.
But I say grace before the play and the opera,
And grace before the concert and pantomime,
And grace before I open a book,
And grace before sketching, painting,
Swimming, fencing, boxing, walking, playing, dancing;
And grace before I dip the pen in the ink.
-G.K. Chesterton
Today, I woke up in a funk. Andy was already gone, and I was sad to have missed him. Once I was alert enough to have coherent thoughts, I remembered the trials of the day…week…month…and immediately felt overwhelmed. I went for a walk and tried to pray, but it was a one-sided complaining rant instead of a prayer. I told God my “concerns” with the way He is handling a few things. I reminded Him of some promises that He doesn’t appear to be honoring. And I said all this with a less-than-gracious attitude.
I walked home, showered, dressed, started to blowdry my hair…and cried. I cried and cried and cried. I cried with my eyes closed, though, so as to not see my stringy, wet hair whipping around my scary cry-face, reflected in the bathroom mirror. A sight best left unseen.
“I am doing the best I can, God!” I choked out, my sobs lost in the noise of the hairdryer. “Why won’t You acknowledge how hard I’m trying? Why aren’t You faithful?”
By the time I said, “You aren’t doing Your part,” my hair was dry, and I plunked down in my desk chair. I wiped my eyes and laid my face in both hands.
And then it happened.
From the computer on my desk, David Crowder began to sing “All I Can Say”.
Lord, I’m tired
So tired from walking
And Lord, I’m so alone
And Lord, the dark
Is creeping in
Creeping up
To swallow me
I think I’ll stop
And rest here awhile…
Lord, didn’t You see me crying?
And didn’t You hear me call Your name?
Wasn’t it You I gave my heart to?
I wish You’d remember
Where you set it down…
Those first two verses, I cried in agreement. “Yes, Lord, don’t You see?”
But the song’s bridge brought tears of another kind. Tears of remembering. Tears of understanding. Tears of knowing that God was, in fact, present—He hadn’t left. He most definitely cares—He sees and hears and is carrying out His plan.
I didn’t notice You were standing here
I didn’t know that
That was You holding me
I didn’t notice You were crying too
I didn’t know that
That was You washing my feet
The song ended, and the next on my worship playlist began: “Amazed” by Desperation Band. The first line rang out, “You dance over me while I am unaware….You sing all around, but I never hear the sound.” Indeed, the Lord was singing over me. I recalled Zephaniah’s words:
The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing.
So today, after I woke up in a funk…today, after a whiny prayer and an ugly scene with a hairdryer…my sweet Lord sang over me. He quieted me with His love. He didn’t scold me for my doubt or my ungratefulness. He didn’t even point to calendar to blame my meltdown on hormones. He just sang. He reminded me that, even if I don’t see Him, He most definitely sees me.
God, I accused You of not caring. But “I didn’t notice!” “I didn’t know!” “You dance over me” and “sing all around”, whether or not I see. Thank You, Lord. “I’m amazed by You.” You are ever faithful. Amen.
- Previous posts on this scripture: Zephaniah 3:17
The grand old month of March
It had so many things–
a church retreat,
ballet exams,
and stuff that each month brings.
But one thing that it lacked
(though I worked just like a dog)–
old March did not
allow the time
to post upon the blog!
So readers, are you there?
I wonder if you quit.
Please come again,
for April’s sake,
and read what I have writ. ten.
Maybe April is my month to get back on track! Subscribe via email or RSS with the buttons above my picture…because you never know when the flaky blogger will strike again!
