Random Funny: Mother’s Day Confessions

“Dear Mom, you are the beast teacher I’ve ever had
(PS your the only teacher I’ve ever had”
-Anne, age 8

Happy Mother’s Day! Enjoy this year’s list, check out last year’s, and please add your own confessions in the comments. (It’ll make me feel better.)

1. Nathan slept with a blanket on his bedroom floor every night for an entire week before I finally washed the sheets on his loft bed.

2. I left my headlights on for eight hours, and completely drained the battery in Andy’s car. He had to borrow our friend’s jumper cables and pick me up at 9:00 at night. Which also meant he had to get all three kids out of bed and load them into the van. And did I mention that Andy was sick with a fever at the time?

3. My family passed around one roll of toilet paper between our 2½ bathrooms, because I couldn’t seem to make it to the store for more.

4. When the girls weren’t paying attention to their schoolwork, I angrily slammed the Grammar book on the table, and made them cry.

5. I obliviously drove the kids across town in the van while the radiator steamed and hissed and overheated.

6. One Sunday, I forgot to send my girls to kids’ choir at church. The following week, I forgot to pick them up from it.

7. Nathan wore his Cub Scouts belt every day for weeks. Weeks! His regular belt broke and I kept forgetting to buy a new one.

8. I hide candy in my desk, so I won’t have to share it with my kids.

9. My girls ran smack into each other, hit heads, fell backwards and started wailing. They came to me for consolation, but I was too busy shaking with laughter. What kind of mother laughs at her child’s injuries?

10. I told Nathan that his poppy seed bagel was covered with bugs. He didn’t know I was kidding. He threw it away and very nearly threw up.